My Baby Was Really Ugly, That Doesn’t Mean I Didn’t Love Him, I Adored Him, Birth Is Not Kind To Newborns

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Some babies really do have a face only a mother could love. Like my baby, my baby was really ugly!

And that’s perfectly okay. You just don’t need to tell anyone else about it (or if it isn’t your baby – never tell the parents). However, since you have eyes, you can see when a newborn isn’t as adorable as it should be!

My first son was freaking gorgeous when he was born. He was ‘perfectly cooked’, had a head full of golden straw-coloured hair and was just scrumptious and perfect. However, since you have eyes, you can see when a newborn isn’t as adorable as it should be!

Then my second son was born. Well, he really did look like a smashed crab. His head was shaped like a cone, his ears were pulled back, and he was noticeably bloated. He appeared to have had a hard night out on the piss because he was purple and bruised. I’ve got eyes, he was DAMN UGLY— my baby was really ugly!

That doesn’t mean I didn’t love him, I adored him. Birth is not kind to newborns. The problem is that most newborns resemble old men or skinned rabbits. or a sentient cabbage… or a monkey…

They frequently take several months to change their appearance from that of squashed-up little goblins to that of adorable, beaming little buttons. You can probably blame Hollywood for our expectations of a newborn baby.

He is our former CFO’s son. He is a total himbo… NOW. Back then… urrgghhhhhhh.  Apparently, the midwives would walk past him and go, ‘Ohhhh, you had a boy…’ *crickets*

I don’t know this ugly baby, but he sure looks like he had a hard night on the booze…. He is NOT amused….

This baby is Benjamin Button – he looks like he is ready to retire on a Golf Course.

This baby is called Cheryl and likes to yell at the neighbour’s kids when the ball comes over the fence.

If looks could kill, this kids Mum would seriously be dead!

This baby looks like he lives in a housing commission complex.  All he wants to do is watch Dr. Phil in silence after the youngsters next door stole his walking stick!

This baby has seen things.

Yep, some newborns are just plain ugly. My baby was ugly.  But most grow out of it, and if they don’t, it is certainly character building.

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